Jamaal Pettway

Something About Rosa

Ion really have too many stories to tell from da “Civil Rights” era as you would call it. Tuh me it was just livin’. We knew where was at and who all not tuh mess with. Matter uh fact my momma, yo Great Grandmother Mary Ann (May-reen) made us recite places we couldn’ go erry mornin’ befo school.

But if I had tuh think back about some’n that just stood out tuh me… It would have tuh be the Bus Boycott of Montgomery and what really happened.

Now. I’ll tell you dis. Before there was Rosa Parks; a lil guhl lived down the hill from us named CC (Cee-Cee). CC was the firr to refuse to give up huh seat on da bus. And just like every negro befo huh she was throwed off. But what made dis time so different was dat dis was a child. We had jus about enuff of dese crackas harassing us and damn sho wasn’ finna let them mess wit our cheerin.

So we take up arms and prepare ourselves to action on da bus company. We were ready tuh do what had tuh be done. That Sunday at church Pastor Johns tells it’s in God’s hands now. Basically sayin to let it go. But back den women who got pregnant befo marriage, had tuh stand in front of the whole church and ask for forgiveness. And dat followin Sunday, you can guess who stood up tuh repent fuh dey sins. Her bein pregnant was duh main reason why we couldn’ go fight for her. And I hate it had to be dat way but that’s just how it was. But I jus had to say dat first.

Now. for ol Rosa Parks ass. Imma tell you what really had huh sittin on dat bus. Rosa was a hussy. (hus-sy) –  a girl or woman who behaves in a disrespectful or inappropriate way or who has many casual sexual relationships. She was gettin roun town faster than Richie Ash. But see Rosa messed up. She done fooled around wit da wrong woman’s man. Corlis Jackson was not duh one tuh be trifled wit. She had a lil crew that was known around the city for whippin ass and takin cash.

So Corlis and huh crew found out where Rosa worked at. They hopped on the bus a few stop befo huz and just waited for her. Mind you Rosa knew who Corlis was and she knew that Corlis was out lookin for her. That day she got on the bus and had to have seen a ass whoopin at the back of dat bus. Rosa sat huh ass in the front. Wit them white folks, where it was safe. Or I guess she figured gettin lynched would be betta dan gettin that booty beat by Corlis and nem.

Shiit Rosa won’t da first person to be tied comin from work. You sit cho ass in da back like everyone else. So nah I wouldn’ say that she was courageous. She just didn’ wanna get a beat down.

Her bein sent to jail was the safest place fuh her. Then da news came out that a woman was arrested fuh not givin’ up her seat and being arrested. That she had stood up to the bus company and we should follow behind her. And that’s been da story people been tellin’ for years. Which is almost the truth but cha leavin out a few thangs…

Peaches and Pizza

Man aight, I do got a crazy story to tell. But I don’t want to get canceled for it. So Imma say it now. I support da gays and all that shit they got goin on. I’m finna tell you about the time I got in a fight with this dyke hoe. I know I ain’t supposed to say dyke but that’s really the only word that describes her.

So boom, back in high school I’m bout to graduate and shit and I get a message on Facebook from one of my old friends from middle school. Diamond. She hit me talm bout; how you been and I’m tryin to see you and shit. Sayin she goin off to college and she tryin to see all her old friends before she leaves. So I’m like shit leh do it. She tells me to come by her crib on Saturday. In my head I’m like is she finna let me beat ? Cuz I thought she was gay. But fuck it pussy is pussy I guess.

So Saturday comes by and I head over to her place but she stay over in partments. I’m already on edge cuase this really the opp block. But I get up the steps and she sittin on the steps waitin for me damn near rushin me in. Once we get in we start choppin it up just talkin and shit. Then she go, “Are you hungry? Do you want to order a pizza?”.

I’m like yeah and I offered to pay. You know me I ain’t trippin on no money. So we order the pizza. About 10 15 minutes go by issa knock at the door. And I’m like damn that was fast as hell. How the pizza get here that fast? Don’t you gotta cook that mothafucka ? I open up the door and its this big ass dyke hoe holdin the pizza. Before I could I even pull my money out she go “I knew you ass was cheating. Who the fuck is this nigga?”. I look back at Diamond like you know this diesel bitch? And Diamond’s like “He’s just a friend. Wooda woo. I ain’t know you was working today.”

All of a sudden. BOOM. This bitch stick my ass in the damn jaw. I’m like what the fuck. I don’t condone hitting women but shit, I gotta defend myself. You know my hands bisexual they hit men and women. So I reach back and hit her dead in her face. She ate that bih like a snicker. Then she pushed my ass and I fall into the fridge. A whole bunch of shit start falling on top of me. Oranges, cereal, and some bananas. I’m like gah damn, don’t some of this shit go inside the fridge. So I get up and I ping her ass with this big ass orange. It might have been one of those grapefruit mufukas. I got her dead in her nose and I know it hurt cause she grabbed it and started fallin back. When she did that I pushed her ass out the way and got the fuck up outta there.

I get all the way out the building, then I stop. Like hold on. I paid for the pizza online. I was pulling my money out to tip the driver. To me I’m not bout to go home all beat up and hungry. So fuck it. I gotta go back in and get that pizza. I start makin my way up the steps and I hear them hoes fightin. They screamin and bangin on shit. “ Fuck you bitch, I aint the one to play with…” I’m thinkin If imma get this pizza now’s the time to do it. Sneak in, grab the pizza and get out. Boy I opened up that door and these hoes in there fucking the life out each other. This dyke straight blasting Diamond back out. I’m talm bout poundin. They hop off each other like nigga what you doin? What am I doin? What ya’ll doin? Bruh I didn’t even stay to let them explain. I grabbed the box and just took off.

And here’s the fucked up part. I got all the way home. Opened the box and it ain’t nothin but some vegetables on it. Then I remember Diamond been a vegetarian since middle school. I should’ve know something was up because when I ordered a meat lovers, she said yeah that straight. So I’m sittin here beat up with this grass pizza and Diamond calls. I ain’t really tryin to hear what she got to say but I picked up any way. She start explaining to me how she get turned on by seein her girlfriend fight niggas. She said they been doing this shit for the past like year. Havin her fight niggas and fuck after. I hung up on her ass cause them hoes too freaky for me. And that’s why I don’t mess with lesbians.